Just as grieving is a process that can return in ass-biting waves long after you’re sure you’re done with it, I am toying with the idea that forgiveness, and unforgiveness, is also a process. To be clear, I believe forgiving is an important step toward sanity. You can’t be pissed off at your worst offenders indefinitely. Read More
Thatwhich
Unforgiving
July 25, 2014
2 Comments
Comments
Jul 25, 2014 6:27 PM EDT
I like the idea of unforgiving for a while. It gives you time to process the justified anger that you pushed down back when certain events happened. I often look back in amazement at the bullshit I accepted in my own marriage ... stuff that should have made me walk away much sooner than I did.
- Ann Pagel
Jul 26, 2014 11:31 AM EDT
Anyone who's been in love only to experience the relationship dissolve can look back and anguish over the things tolerated at the time in the name of love (ie choosing to overlook bad behavior, great and small). But unforgiving, in my opinion, sounds like a euphemism for holding onto resentment, and that's not good, ever. It's like you drinking poison hoping your enemy will die. Tying your wrist to the lawnmower was unconscionable, duh, and if I see the dude I'll trip him. But do yourself a favor and don't backtrack on forgiveness. You can forgive HIM, without condoning every word he said or action he performed. Forgiveness is always a virtue, and you are always the beneficiary.
- Michael J. Youmans