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Thatwhich

Court-ordered child abuse

An elderly man, confined to his home, wants to see his grandchildren. He has eleven of them, the offspring of six children whom he and his devoted wife adopted during their 40-plus years of marriage. The couple also took in foster children over the years, and started a nonprofit organization whose mission is to help young people meet their full potential. The perfect grandparents, right? Read More 
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The A-word

Sam Henry, who has approved this message. (Photograph by Sam Ekren)
In 1994, coincidentally the year my son was born, Asperger syndrome was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual. A month after Sam started third grade, I had what had become the typical, annual conversation with his teacher. Sam was falling behind. He seemed unaware of what was expected of him. Permission slips and homework never made it home. The teacher returned my call during her lunch break. I could tell she was guarded, reluctant to say what she was thinking. “I don’t want to scare you with the A-word,” she said.

“What A-word?’’ I knew my son wasn’t an asshole. Read More 
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This generation's bananas

My teenage daughter made banana bread today using a recipe written in my grandma’s perfect, tiny script. The years between Geraldine’s passing and Grace’s birth add up to 15, Grace’s lifetime. But I think the two would have understood each other. They’re cut from the same cloth, just a different bolt. Read More 
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Turtle dreams

You know that dream where you think you’re awake and almost ready for your day? You’ve already gotten out of bed, had a shower, made sure the kids got something to eat, drank a cup of coffee, and wondered why your husband left all the windows open so that the confetti from last night’s street celebration now covers the furniture and the floor.  Read More 
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Hitting the reset button

Photograph by Bruce Brummitt, taken at Monument Valley. Used with permission.
I was going to be kind of sassy as I rang out the old year. Something like, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, 2011.” But then I remembered my upbringing. Some people have bad things happen to them and ask, “Why me?” My people have bad things happen to them and ask, “Why not me?”  Read More 
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Peace, love, and irony

My friend Megan says Bethlehem needs their peace flame returned. My family became stewards of the flame, or the flame of the flame, almost by accident on Christmas night. We went to our usually Sunday-night church service. After Rev. Russell’s message (on the need for more irony in the world), and a rousing rendition of The First Noel, a voice cried out from several pews behind us: Read More 
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Band on the run

It took me way too long to figure this out, but the secret to enjoying a school band concert is a big glass of red wine beforehand. Tonight’s program consisted of performances by three bands, and my kid was playing in the last one. I didn’t mind. It’s becoming clear to me that my band concerts are numbered.  Read More 
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But I didn't order the Poo-Poo Platter

The latest child-support hearing was scheduled for an awkward time: 8:30 on a weekday morning. I could leave the house by 7:00 and be downtown in 20 minutes, with ample parking opportunities, or I could depart at 7:30 and turn it into battle of wits, me versus all the other commuters. In short, I could either arrive downtown an hour early, or risk getting stuck in traffic and suffering a stress-induced meltdown just in time to appear in court. I decided to go early. There’s a hotel  Read More 
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Thanksgiving, forgiving, giving up

Ever since November gave me its worst, I’ve been trying, sportingly, to give it my best. It’s been a struggle. November brings us Thanksgiving, after all, so for the ungrateful, it can be an unforgiving time. How can it not be, especially for those who have lost something important? I think a  Read More 
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Driving Miss Crazy

Although I like to consider myself beyond reproach, I will cop to one very particular personal flaw: I constantly provide feedback, mostly negative, to my fellow drivers. I’m not talking about my fellow drivers on “life’s highway,” but rather fellow drivers on whatever road I am also driving on, in the literal  Read More 
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